Self Defeating Behavior

Why is it… that some people… right as they are about to achieve everything they ever wanted… suddenly geek out and destroy everything they were working towards? At the very moment they will arrive at the goal they worked towards… they lose it. They all of the sudden can’t show up on time, start getting into addictions… they go off the deep end. Focusing on other people instead of themselves, stopping for fast food after committing to eating healthy, getting in a deep phone call right before hitting the gym, saying no to your kids before giving into them, saying you want to quit drinking and then grabbing a beer with a friend, dreaming of saving money only to spend all of it, saying you want to be close to your kids and then criticizing all of their choices, worrying about what others think of you… Negative self talk, procrastination, obsessing over perfection, stubbornness, people pleasing, blaming others, refusing to ask for help, fear of healthy risk taking, self guilt and feeling undeserving of good things… the pain of imagined risk easily triggering strong and painful emotions that flood you with dread and stress causing you to shut down and no longer function… Failing to meet your goals threatening your ego leading to negative emotions leading to setting higher standards for yourself leading to even more failure… SOUND LIKE ANYBODY YOU KNOW??? ❤️, Jamry

Small Gift, Big Problem

If you light up with excitement when someone brings you a small gift… you may actually have a very big problem. If someone does a small act of service for you… and you get feelings of deep affection and allegiance… you may actually have your emotions crossed. If you fawn with affection in the presence of the giver of these small gifts, if you adore the giver of these small gifts with all reverence and devotion… This is a very common pattern of behavior for an abusive person… what they will do is consistently do these small favors for you and in return you give them your whole life and existence. They may give you a few hundred dollars here and there or buy you a gift when they are out around town. If a man gives you a small gift and in return you feel like he deserves to be slept with… better yet you downright owe it to him now that he gave you a small gift! He is operating in the position of a handler and he is controlling your behavior with the gifts and acts of service. Once he has set this up he can consistently give you small gifts and in return you will consistently bend over backwards for him. If you feel drawn to them, as if you can’t say no to them… If they make a move on you and you feel unable to resist their advances because you feel that they own you, that you are their property now… Then you are in the midst of this toxic relationship. You must get away from such people and develop the ability to fight them back. If you normally are able to defend yourself or run away, but with this particular individual you feel powerless before them and the need to give yourself to them… this is a sign. Women can all the same set this up with their children or husband. At a societal level, leaders will dish out money and service to their members, using the money and labor of those very same members, to gain more and more resources from them in exchange for what they already previously owned! This pattern of behavior is most common with politicians, pastors, and priests. What they will do is intentionally get reciprocity on their side… if they scratch your back, you sleep with them. If they hook you up, they own your soul. If they do you a favor today, you are a slave to them in a single phone call later. Welcome to Hollywood 101. The most extreme examples I have seen with my own eyes are the El Sheddai and PMCC 4th Watch cults based out of the Philippines. In America, the most extreme examples I have seen of this sort of thing are the Hollywood studio environment, politicians that I have personally known over the years, and Pastor Doug Wilson in Moscow, ID. Members will feel the need to give their leaders anything they want… money, time, energy, even their own bodies for sexual indulgence. This is sadistic behavior that needs to end, it’s very hard to watch people go through these things. I hope they break free, I do what I can for them. ❤️, Jamry

R.I.P. Phil Rozul

You will be missed Phil, you were a great Dad. I saw your effort man… I saw your heart… even if no one else did. He was a single Dad soldier for his son… he will be remembered for that. I was just talking to you… you had your whole life going in the right direction, doors were opening up, the good life was in front of you… You will be remembered as an exemplary Father, I promise you that… ❤️, Jamry

Father’s Day Rising

Father’s Day was invented in Spokane, WA in 1910 by a woman named Sonora Smart Dodd… who absolutely adored her own Father. Her Dad was a single parent who raised 6 kids in Arkansas after the mother had passed away giving birth to the last child. She originally suggested June 5 for Father’s Day… her Dad’s birthday. Listen… a lot of women have been hurt by men. A lot of women have been abused by men. A lot of men are irresponsible. Some men are momma’s boys who never really married you, they still love their mom. A lot of women have been jaded by these past experiences… understandably… and as a result are skeptical, disappointed, and angry at men in general. However, MAN HATING is not the solution. Controlling a man and attempting to put him in a cage so he can’t make free will decisions… is not the solution. Violence toward men is not the answer. Women can be downright cruel and vindictive just as well… in very subtle, discreet, and subversive ways. Some women abuse their men the way they have been abused, as if that makes it all better… TO PASSIVE AGGRESSIVELY DESTROY SOMEONE. Some women will use backroom relationship politics to get a man fired out of jealousy. Some women will meticulously plot out the destruction of good men on purpose. Some women will cheat on their man, even a good man who takes care of her all day… AND THEN BLAME HIM FOR HER CHEATING! Some women never really married you, they are still in love with their own friends and family… you are just a side thing that can be thrown out any single day. WHICH IS WRONG. When confronted with some ugly detail about their own behavior… most women will lie to themselves that it isn’t true… that makes the pain go away, momentarily… Just lie to yourself, it feels good… Glorifying the struggle of single moms and how strong or virtuous they are to endure that daily cross… as if having a child out of wedlock is a noble deed to begin with… sure, single moms deserve some help and sympathy… but they aren’t Mother Theresa just for getting knocked up with someone they never married and then sit around to complain about it for 40 years day dreaming that he will show up again one day… HELLO… this is not a solution either. You know who deserves a Nobel Peace Prize… THE MEN WHO LOVE ONE WOMAN AND TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS, THEY ARE THE REAL LIFESAVERS… You know what is actually difficult to do in the 21st century? Being a good husband, good father, and good man has become downright near impossible for most men, they have no incentive and give up… Some women have been legitimately screwed over by dead beat Dads, I GET IT… YOUR PISSED. The solution is not to create an army of single moms. The solution is to get single moms hooked up with really great men who will love them down to the core. The solution is to follow men who are already doing the right thing. NEWS FLASH. SURPRISE TO EVERYONE. They already exist… THEY ARE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU PROBABLY. Go seek one of them out, be with someone who will love you instead of punch you in the face. Abused women tend to seek out abusive men, like the one they grew up with… break that cycle. When a man is decent and responsible in modern culture… he gets attacked, vilified, and disrespected. How is this even possible? That the solution, which is to be a good dad, a good husband, a good man… gets vilified as the bad guy. How is it that modern women find any old excuse, any old excuse will do, to run away from their husbands… so that they can be in the hero role and make him out as a bad guy to defeat? Seek out the men who are already doing the right thing day in and day out, honor them… follow them… and NO, THEY ARE NOT BORING… BEING DEEPLY PASSIONATE ABOUT YOU IS NOT BORING, THAT’S CALLED TRUE LOVE… if being cheated on and assaulted by a jerk is a thrill that makes you feel alive… if the only time your boo comes around is for a quick booty call at night… if you think being used for your money is a good time… if your boyfriend or husband takes you to the strip club and asks you which girl you like… if your husband grabs two strippers in Vegas and tells you to snap the selfie for him real quick… GUESS WHAT… if you call that “exciting”… then be my guest… have fun with that… YOUR ABILITY TO MAKE GOOD CHOICES FOR YOURSELF IS CLEARLY BROKEN AT THAT POINT AND YOU FIND DANGEROUS, HIGHLY ABUSIVE, PERVERTED MEN TO BE GORGEOUS AND HIGHLY ATTRACTIVE… THAT IS A BIG RED FLAG FOR YOU… If you think you are a strong woman because you are the breadwinner while your man SITS AROUND LIVING OFF YOU ALL DAY LONG… You call it helping out with the bills… I CALL IT… HIM USING YOU TO DO THINGS HE IS SUPPOSED TO DO… he has you right where he wanted you… making all that cash… and you think you are miss independent and so valuable… stop kidding yourself, you are slaving away at work all day FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING… There is an old saying FATHER KNOWS BEST… because we actually do… If you had a bad father, even HE still knows a few things… START TALKING TO HIM INSTEAD FOR ONCE… MEN CAN SPOT OTHER MEN A MILE AWAY… CALL IT LIKE YOU SEE IT… There is a difference between the man and the title… your Dad may have made some mistakes but he still the title of FATHER… by default, a father knows some things because he is built for that… This weekend, let’s have an actual Father’s Day for once instead of treating Dad like the Lord of the Dog House, worthy of all contempt… On Mother’s Day we roll out the red carpet and roses… Father’s Day is when you roll your eyes out at Dad and say “What are you looking at, what the hell do you want?” Get to know your Dad… If your Dad gets up every day on your behalf and cares for you, make it worthwhile for him to serve you each day…❤️, Jamry

Wedding Vows vs. Money

You get what you want, its that simple. If you value your commitment to your spouse, you will not throw it away when things get tough, because the thing that you wanted all along… was your spouse… and here he or she is… everything you ever wanted, everything you were looking for… right next to you… to have and to hold forever… If your commitment to your spouse is not valuable to you, you will trash it on a dime… and go after the thing that you actually wanted instead. If all you wanted was money and not a person, you will throw people away as useless and attack them when they don’t give you want you really wanted from them all along… If all you want is a person, money issues will not matter to you at all… money becomes irrelevant when you already have what you want in life, which is her or him… When things get tough, you have each other. When things get tough, you have some financial resources. Which one sounds better to you? Do you want your spouse or just his money and power? Do you want your spouse or just how she looks and what she can do for you? Aren’t you better off alone and rich, since all you wanted was money? Aren’t you better off together and broke, since all you wanted was each other? Love makes the world go round… money follows it. We spend money on the things we love. Money just amplifies who we already are. If I give you a million dollars but you are a big fake jerk… you will be a million dollar big fake jerk… So, who are you and what do you actually love? You can always find more money to solve a money problem, there are billions of dollars out there… A person is one of a kind, you can never replace them once they are gone… There are trillions of dollars, but only one of me… Choose people over money every chance you get, live without regrets… That bill will come due on how you treated people for all those years and your heart won’t be able to pay that one back… Don’t do that to yourself… ❤️, Jamry

Face Culture

Who you are in private needs to be who you are in public. There can not be a version of you at home and a version of you out of the house. This is how you end up being two-faced. You can not have a distance between how you act in front of people and what you actually feel on the inside. This is how people end up living double lives. They hide one version of themselves from the other version of themselves. You may even end up having two separate families doing this… one down the street and one up the street. People end up having one girlfriend downtown and one girlfriend uptown… They have their chaotic life at home and their secret outlet that they tell no one they go to… They have a husband at home and an emotional affair at work… They act one way toward their spouse in person and then have a separate outlet to vent about that same spouse all day… If you are sad, mad, glad, or afraid of someone… Tell them that! Not some other person! Go directly to them and express how you feel! Not some 3rd party that has no context to them… There needs to be no gap in between what you say and what you do… There needs to be no gap between what you feel and what you communicate… If you hide part of yourself from others… You will then behave privately in anger against them, behind their back… Then you will hide what you just did as well… things will fester and get worse each day… Say what you feel, hold nothing back, come clean… You will feel whole again… You will never be happy until the private version of yourself can live openly in the public square… As long as you live in hiding and in the shadows, you live condemned to misery forever… Come out of the shadows and be one person all the time… You won’t have to remember what you told one person vs. another because you switch stories depending on who is front of you… Just be one person, talk one way to everyone, be the same person no matter who is in front of you… No matter what you have done, you can be honest about it in public… True happiness can be found by being yourself all the time… open and honest… the good, bad, and the ugly… 24/7… No matter who is watching… Freedom… Real Freedom! This is who I am… Own it and love it! All of it! All the time! Love who you are… The real you… Now you are really free! Be free! Stay Free! ❤️, Jamry

Munchausen Pity Party

Don’t pretend that you are sick, when you are not actually sick. Don’t pretend that someone else is sick, when they are not actually sick. Don’t drag yourself to a doctor every other day for your myriad imagined illnesses just to get some attention from friends and family. Don’t drag someone else in the family to the doctor so you can pretend that something is wrong with them either, in order to discuss them all day and what is wrong with them. You can not draw the whole worlds attention unto yourself through pretending to be sick all day. You can not be a false hero to someone else… when that person is perfectly fine. You can not throw your own pity party all day long, when you are perfectly fine. Making everyone else be your permanent servant by feigning illness is not right in the least. Don’t create a fake self-injury scenario to secure permanent special attention either. Don’t go around asking for advice on how to handle this terrible situation that you are in, when you made it all up. Don’t try and help everyone else get better, when you are the one who is actually sick… Oh, I guess you actually got what you were looking for then… all the attention in the world for being completely sick…  on the inside. Your back doesn’t hurt, you don’t have a headache, you don’t need surgery, your kids are not ill, and you don’t need to see the doctor… except maybe to get your head examined. This is the highest form of manipulation. Pity party is over. Sorry, Not Sorry. The jig is up. Game Over. You still wonder why no one likes to hang out with you and avoids you like the plague? Finally, figured that one out. Munchausen. ❤️, Jamry